17. Survive Your Puppy's First Night (The Reality Nobody Tells You)

Let's have a reality check. The biggest problem most people have with their puppy is their own expectations.

Your puppy is not a robot. They're likely scared and overwhelmed. Maybe just like you.

Just try to do your best. That's all anyone can ask.

Millions of people survive the first night. You will too. The puppy who keeps you up tonight will be your best friend for the next 15 years. Worth it.

What To Actually Expect

Night 1: Rough.

Nights 2-3: Real rough.

Nights 4-7: Now you know what sleep deprivation is.

Week 2: You've turned a corner.

Weeks 3-4: Now they're getting it.

Months 2-3: The only thing waking you up is their snoring.

The Two Types Of Crying

Most puppies cry during their first few nights. This is completely normal.

It's really important that you manage this well because it will make it end quicker.

You need to distinguish between two types of crying.

Protest crying (the one you need to ignore):

This translates as "I do not want to be in here."

This usually happens when you're out of visual line of sight from your puppy. This whining will come and go when you give them what they want.

If you reward their crying as a puppy, you're setting yourself up for a world of pain. Please do your best to ignore it.

Need crying (you need to respond to this):

This is the cry puppies give when they need the toilet or there's an urgent problem.

The easiest way to know the difference is to stick with your plan. If you know your dog is due a toilet break and they start whimpering, there's a good chance that's the problem.

Top tip: Lots of puppies have very sensitive bladders that can be triggered by waddling to the toilet area. It's why lots of puppies make it close to the door and then start to wee. The way around this is to just pick them up and take them outside.

Not sure if your puppy is protest crying or needs the toilet? Our community has video examples of both types and experienced owners who can help you identify the difference. This is one of the most common 3am questions in our forums.

Setting Up A Strong Night-Time Routine

Our general advice is that you should not put the crate in your bedroom. You definitely should not feed your dog directly within their crate at the beginning. You wouldn't want to eat in the exact space you slept and went to the toilet.

Here's a good routine to follow:

One of you should sleep the first couple of nights in the same room where the crate is. This is only for a couple of nights and also means you can get up for wee breaks quicker.

Put a cover over the crate and a comfortable bed they can sleep on. Trust me, puppies can sleep anywhere.

Have the last toilet break at the last possible second. Give them a small drink of water, then calmly move them to their crate to sleep.

Pre-empt the wee breaks. You're expecting 1-2 wee breaks a night for the first couple of weeks at least.

For wee breaks, get up and take your puppy outside. Give them a chance to wee, and if they don't take it, bring them back in. Don't overly speak to them or play with them. Then move them calmly back into their crate.

By 10 weeks, your puppy might be able to hold their bladder for 4-5 hours.

The Five Common Mistakes

Mistake #1: Not setting an alarm

You need to pre-empt toilet breaks. Set an alarm. Don't wait for them to wake you up crying.

Mistake #2: Making wee breaks entertaining

Toilet breaks should be boring. No playing. No chatting. Out, wee, back in. That's it.

Mistake #3: Leaving your puppy all day

If you're gone all day and then expect them to settle at night, you're in for a rough time. They need interaction during the day.

Mistake #4: Not having everything prepared

For toilet breaks, you'll likely need a torch, maybe some treats, easy-to-put-on shoes, and maybe poo bags. Keep them somewhere close rather than going through cupboards every time.

Mistake #5: Comforting a crying puppy

If your puppy is crying for attention, you must ignore the desire to comfort them.

The best thing to do is go into the room with the crate, turn on the light, then do something else for a couple of minutes. After that, just turn off the lights and go back to bed.

It Gets Better

The first few nights are brutal. But it gets better quickly.

By week 2, you've turned a corner. By week 4, they're getting it. By months 2-3, they're sleeping through the night.

The puppy keeping you up at 3am tonight will be your loyal companion for over a decade. Worth every sleepless night.

Get Ongoing Support For Your Puppy Journey

The first night is overwhelming. Having support as you navigate crying, toilet breaks, and sleep deprivation makes all the difference.

That's why we created our free Skool community - to give you continuous support every step of the way.

Inside the community, you'll get:

• Weekly live Q&A sessions where you can ask about YOUR specific first-night challenges (even at 3am via forums)
• Complete puppy courses with detailed night-time routines and troubleshooting
• A supportive community of sleep-deprived owners who understand exactly what you're going through
• Video demonstrations of handling protest crying versus need crying
• Troubleshooting help when nothing seems to work
• Updated resources including night-time routine templates and alarm schedules

Best part? It's completely free. No subscription. No catch. Just dog owners helping dog owners.

Join The Toe Beans Co community today and get the ongoing support you need to survive (and eventually enjoy) your puppy's first nights.